You have been playing too much adventure RPGs when...
(those Final Fantasy type games, you know)
You want to talk to every person you see.
It's a good thing to talk to everyone.
Someone just might say something important.
Your destiny might be to meet someone, and
you can't get somewhere without meeting him.
- When you talk again to the same person, you expect him to repeat his earlier words.
- You expect them to talk first.
You remember perfectly well all the tunes of every RPG game in existence.
- You want a theme tune for yourself.
If the world wasn't so vastly big, you'd be exploring it all the time.
If there's something urgent going on, it's never so urgent that you can't sleep a night or two before continuing.
You assume people will calmly wait for you.
You want to create an adventure RPG.
- And you want to move into its world.
You visit every house in the town. If a door is locked, you try to find your way in.
When visiting people, you'll look into every cabinet and shelf they have.
- ... and take everything with you.
Every item in the world rightfully belongs to the hero.
You want to hide items (food, weapons, money) everywhere in big chests so other adventurers can find and open them.
Returning the favor.
You look always into every pot and box you see.
Something valuable just might be hidden there.
All items of same kind are equal.
Age doesn't matter.
If you have a coat just bought or a coat you have been
wearing for 3 years and used in many kinds of battles,
you expect that both can be sold for the same price.
You carry all your possessions with you all time.
And carrying them does not slow you down.
- You can't carry more than 99 items of one kind, but you can carry items of more than 500 different kinds.
Everything you can pick up can be used for something useful.
Regardless of their weight or shape.
- Usually, you can immediately tell how much stronger a given cloth, armor or weapon makes you.
All items you see in shops are just decorations which have nothing to do with the stuff you want to buy.
To buy something, you need to talk to the shopkeeper.
You expect you can sell anything in shops.
And you are sure that they pay exactly half of the original price.
You dye your hair as dark blue or purple.
All hair colours and styles are natural and effortless to maintain.
You want a tail, wings, long ears, glowing eyes and whatnot.
They're just so cute. You are deeply saddened of being just a human.
Partying and monsters
Your outside appearance gets you into meeting more people who have played too much adventure RPGs.
They will follow you everywhere without question.
Including all the strangers' houses.
- Even if you decide to sleep 4 days in row, they'll just do the same in the same place.
You spend much time with them, hunting monsters.
- There are no monsters in towns. But when you travel outside a town, you expect that at any given moment you may suddenly be attacked by a monster.
- Monsters are the best source of items and money in the world. That's why you're hunting them.
If you get a bruise or a wound, the first thing that crosses your mind is to cast a Healing spell.
- Alternately, you believe that an overnight sleep will heal you completely.
You start practicing your agility, dexterity, strength, constitution and stamina.
So you can move and act as elaborately as your favourite RPG characters.
You start practicing your intelligence and wisdom.
Because you think it'll help you casting spells.
Trees and stones block your way. You can't walk between them.
Written by Joel Yliluoma
With ideas from various people. Yes, a few of these "symptoms" apply to me.
Ideas are welcome, but:
- Ideas must be based on generic aspects of adventure RPG games.
- Ideas must be applicable to real life: they must not be based on obvious false observations.
My contact address: cwr@g@bimeh@lhvonsqf@firstname.lastname@example.org@I@sO1nfi
Last edited at: 2007-01-13T23:42:14+02:00